5 façons simples d'être gentil avec soi-même

We all have an inner critic who plagues our minds with doubts, constantly reminding us of our worries and deepest darkest fears. This inner critic also has a habit of repeating every mean thing you’ve ever been told at the most inconvenient moments… like just before you’re about to give a presentation, before an important job interview, when you’re on a first date, or at 3AM when you’re desperately trying to get a good night's sleep. Some people like to call this devil inside the “ego” but I actually advise people to name this voice a proper name. For example, I’ve appropriately called my inner critic, Regina, based on Regina George from the film, Mean Girls. My friend has named hers Maureen, and another Petunia after the character from Harry Potter. 

One thing’s for certain, you do not need to be dictated by this mean voice. You wouldn’t dream of treating a friend in the same way. You instead boost them up, try to lift their spirits and remind them of all their talents when they’re having a bad day. So it’s important that you start treating yourself with the same kindness. Think about how your health and skin would improve if you became better at listening to your body’s signals and started responding with love and compassion. When you are kinder to yourself, you glow from the inside out!  

As Roald Dahl wrote — 'If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.'

Check out my 5 top tips on how to become a kinder you:

1. Get Curious 

When you hear that inner meanie niggling at you, ask yourself these four questions from the wonderful and inspiring thought leader and author Bryon Katie. 

• Is this thought true? 
• Can I be 100% sure it’s true? 
• When believing this thought, how does it make me feel? 
• Who would I be without this thought? 

By getting curious and asking ourselves those four questions, you will quickly begin to see that the majority of critical thoughts we have are in fact not true.

2. Forgive Yourself Often

We are all guilty of blaming ourselves for things we said, could have done or should have done “better”. The woulda, shoulda, coulda’s are all self critical thoughts that keep us trapped in the past. Practice self forgiveness and remember Maya Angelou’s quote, “when you know better, you do better”. Remembering we’re only human and can only do the best we can and it’s inevitable that we will make mistakes, releases a lot of pressure. Forgive, forgive, forgive, and free yourself from a past that you cannot change. You forgive friends when they mess up, so don’t you think it’s time to forgive yourself?

3. Write a Grateful Diary to Yourself 

It is too easy to find faults in yourself, our minds are constantly being interrupted with thoughts like: ‘I don’t like my ears… or the way my hair curls, or my chubby ankles’. It’s time to put a stop to the constant critical commentary about the way you look. Start writing a daily gratitude ritual for yourself. Begin your day noting down three things you like about yourself and it’s amazing how impactful this is in changing the relationship you have with yourself. Self respect starts with self appreciation. 

4. Move Your Body 

You will always feel better once your body has had an opportunity to move. I always say an outside GLOW starts from within and our physical health. Put self care at the top of your to do list even when you don’t think you have time for it. Women are notoriously bad at neglecting themselves and relegating their health needs to the bottom in service of others. Start being kinder to yourself by looking after your body and setting aside time to do this. You only have one.

4. Celebrate Yourself 

Celebrate the small wins often. Have you finished the washing up and managed to squeeze in a work call? High five yourself for every little achievement no matter the importance. Being your own cheerleader means becoming your own source of encouragement and enthusiasm when you’re faced with challenges. By marking all your accomplishments throughout the day, from washing your hair to securing a work promotion, your brain will start releasing more feel-good endorphins. This becomes a snowball effect and quickly, you’ll have even more energy to achieve more. Go get em! 

Please let me know how you get on with incorporating these tips into your day. Everytime I take time out to Double-Cleanse and use my Erno Laszlo Hydraphel Skin Supplement, it is like a daily sprinkle of kindness to my skin!

Having a skincare routine like the one Erno Laszlo created is like a ritual of kindness in itself. Invest in your skin and show yourself you deserve it! You do! 

Big kiss, 

Poppy 
Founder of @happynotperfect  and Not Perfect Podcast with Poppy Jami‪e‬